Rosemarie War Chapter 1I am the queen of all demons. I am the kind of monster children are scared of. I'm the thing humans fear.
(my first Critique)Okay where do i begin.....
I love the idea of this, both parents dead, made to take the throne, demons, a human world, Joshua!!! Joshua!!!.
I am in love with Joshua!!!! I hope he isn't dead, I'll have to read the next chapter.
As you can tell this gave a great impact on me mainly about Joshua who to me seems quite mature and maybe even like a foster father to the princess.
This is quite original in my mind but your technique is low.
There are errors and little describing words used. I see that you have tried but it wasn't done properly.
I can understand your vision and i love how colourful the characters are.
My advice to you now is to keep working and improving your writting skill and this novel/chapters could be amazing.
JOSHUA!!! DON'T DIE (as well as the princess of course, i don't want you to die either)
Hhhhhhhhhhhhiiii , will how do I mingle in the conversation ?!? Eeeeeeemmmm ...... Aha ....... Well I readed you first chapter " =Mikomikisomi" and to me it sounded really cool and AWASOME ^^ , and it sounded more as if you tried to give your vision to people so they can get in side your idea , mainly it sounded more like a manga - video game vision , did it not ?!?
Mainly you did a great job ^^ , with it and it sounde really cool
i said roughly the same when i read it. its original but it lacks anything that makes it like literature. it reads more like a visual novel to me.
but i do like it a lot.
yeah. i read all she has of it like a week ago. its good but it reads like a manga more than a novel.
That's because this is more of the rough outline of the story, right now I'm just writing it all down until my drawing skills improve so I can make it into manga form.