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:iconanimedemonheart:
(my first Critique)Okay where do i begin.....
I love the idea of this, both parents dead, made to take the throne, demons, a human world, Joshua!!! Joshua!!!.
I am in love with Joshua!!!! I hope he isn't dead, I'll have to read the next chapter.
As you can tell this gave a great impact on me mainly about Joshua who to me seems quite mature and maybe even like a foster father to the princess.
This is quite original in my mind but your technique is low.
There are errors and little describing words used. I see that you have tried but it wasn't done properly.
I can understand your vision and i love how colourful the characters are.
My advice to you now is to keep working and improving your writting skill and this novel/chapters could be amazing.
JOSHUA!!! DON'T DIE (as well as the princess of course, i don't want you to die either)
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconarima2tumanyappy:
arima2tumaNyappy Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Hhhhhhhhhhhhiiii , will how do I mingle in the conversation ?!? Eeeeeeemmmm ...... Aha ....... Well I readed you first chapter " =Mikomikisomi" and to me it sounded really cool and AWASOME ^^ , and it sounded more as if you tried to give your vision to people so they can get in side your idea , mainly it sounded more like a manga - video game vision , did it not ?!?
Mainly you did a great job ^^ , with it and it sounde really cool
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:iconniceguyanimefan:
NiceGuyAnimeFan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i said roughly the same when i read it. its original but it lacks anything that makes it like literature. it reads more like a visual novel to me.
but i do like it a lot.
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:iconanimedemonheart:
animedemonheart Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
me too :D
Reply
:iconniceguyanimefan:
NiceGuyAnimeFan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah. i read all she has of it like a week ago. its good but it reads like a manga more than a novel.
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:iconmikomikisomi:
MikomiKisomi Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Student Digital Artist
That's because this is more of the rough outline of the story, right now I'm just writing it all down until my drawing skills improve so I can make it into manga form.
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:iconniceguyanimefan:
NiceGuyAnimeFan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
okay. keep it up.
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:iconanimedemonheart:
animedemonheart Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah
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:iconniceguyanimefan:
NiceGuyAnimeFan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
but it is cool.
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:iconanimedemonheart:
animedemonheart Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yes it is
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:iconniceguyanimefan:
NiceGuyAnimeFan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
what to say now?
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